Got to.

So today I left the color guard for marching band......I had no other alternative.

Things were getting to become....too much. Work....school...family....and then guard always came off to be an inconvenience for me. So I just couldn't do it anymore. Plus I didn't have the means to pay for it. Every things just...messed up right now for me.

I'm just glad, that at least, unlike some people, I did my team the respect, of bringing them all together, and telling them my situation, and not just leaving without giving them an explanation.

I owe them that much. And after I actually did it.....that experience made me ever having to do that again, less hard. And that's how you learn.

Point period.....today was a very emotional and shitty day for me.....But I learned so much.

Never decide to commit to things when your not 100% sure that it's all gonna work out for you. When I started band a few months ago, I thought, man.....I got a job now.....every thing's gonna be fine. But then reality hit me, and it just so happened to be that months went by, and it was still difficult for me to get by. Then.....now what?

My band director, said it was like......constantly hitting yourself on a brick wall, when you know you have a headache, but you won't stop.....

In other words: Doing something, even though you know that you just can't. or doing something that's putting pain or frustration in your life, that your adding yourself by not just getting away from the situation. It's....dumb.

I left the band......but I started a whole new club/organization at my school. So hopefully, there's still something for me to get into. Since I made it up, I can make my own times. No debt.....no stress. And a lot of older folks that knew about my situation told me that if I was that worried about it then, it really wasn't worth it. And their right.

10.....5.....shit....I'll give it 1 or 2 years later......

Who's really gonna give a shit about you being in the marching band?

...... : Nobody.