+Everybody's nobody.

So, it's pretty much now at this point the day after Christmas.

Whoop-di-doo.

I stayed home all day watching the Girlfriends marathon and folding washed clothes. So I guess I was a little productive with myself.

The thing that really bugs me though, is just like, people. In general. People that you tell to do something....and they say that they'll do it, and then they just don't comply.

Like, it happens all the time....But sometimes it can just get annoying....to have to wait...or repeat yourself.

I feel like....I'm a person that makes so much initiative. I like to plan things out precisely before I even begin to engage in anything. And when I expect things to happen....and they don't on account of someone else's lousiness....it bugs me.

It fucking bugs me.

Bugs....the....hell...outta...me.

I was expecting a number of calls tonight. But I got none. And I mean, a call....? Nothing too big to get all worked up about, right. But at the same time....even something as little as telling someone to call you, and having them not do it....can strike a nerve. Especially if it's done very often....by the SAME person. I'm sure we all have a couple of those types of people in our lives.

Ahh.....fuck em'.

It's like, the older I get, the more people that don't really care to talk to me, are the people that I would probably in my sane mind, never really talk to or be friends with anyway. So....in thinking about the situation like that....then wtf am I really losing...?

Absolutely shit.

I mean, I love to befriend new people all the time. And I love the thought of introducing people to new things....helping people. But they're some people that just don't deserve to be helped, you know. Then there's also people that spend too much time helping others, when they really need to focus on getting themselves together first. Which that, is more important.

And I couldn't stress that point anymore than that.

Sometimes I feel like that.....Like I care too much about other people....that probably wouldn't even do half of the shit that I've done for them. Like I always run the bat for people....whether I know them well or not. And they say they'll help me out when I fall down, and am in need. But when it happens, and you turn around to look for them, you see nobody...

Because nobody's there.

Nobody's ever there.

So I've just come to learn that....whenever people say shit like that, it's always just in the moment. It never actually goes beyond that point. Which sucks....cause some people actually do give a shit about others. Like the people that give the gifts....verses the people that just keep their arms wide open to receive them.

Bullshit.

Lord...please help those that don't care.

So caring people like me won't end up lonely, and call-less late at night, on here, wondering where the fuck everyone that was apparently "supposed" to be there, went.

Amen to that.