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Seems like the days just roll on by faster and faster.

I don't remember everything that I have to do some days. But.....I've stopped getting to be so overwhelmed.

I'm good now. I'm settled.

I rested a lot come these few days....Not even because I was tired but.....just because I was restless....So I lay down and rest to past the time by.

Do people usually rest when they're restless.....?

Hmm.

Then every once in a while come time to time....I think of it...

That day. That night. That morning. The aftermath of the rest of my life.

That punch. That friendship. What it was when it was.

And how now all that it added up to was nothing.

I promised myself....I would never allow myself to utter a thought about this nigga ever again. That I would live my life and just move the fuck on cause I needed to just do that and forget about it. Forever.

I finnally take my hands out of it.....Go to University....Make new friends....Get into a relationship....

This nigga is still runnin' through my mind like a siren.

The one that wakes you up in the middle of your sleep and when you wake up, you don't even know what the fuck just took place, but you start crying cause no matter which way your life goes, you can't shake the fact that it happened. It happened. It happened.

And:

He's happy.

He don't give a fuck about you waking up in the middle of the night struck by it.

I can't make him depressed or forever unhappy....No one has the power to do that to anyone. But I wish I could. God....I wish I could. And sometimes I don't even know why I want this as bad as I do.....But a womens scorn....Is by far the worst thing a man can ever run into in his lifetime. At least that's what I've been told since my childhood. And I believe it now. Completely.

When a women grows a true hate for a man....It can drive her to not see happiness till that man is terminated from the face of the earth. Sometimes it's just that bad....It be like that sometimes.

I could kill him. I could wreck the fuck out of his future.

But my energy....My energy is too important for me to waste on worrying about one nigga. Every womens energy is way to important for them to waste on any man....any boy. Any dog.

And that's what some women don't understand when they feel this way...

But I do.

I'm higher in my life now. I got these things called.....responsibilties. Gotta pay these things they call.....bills. My energy is only in an hour glass getting thinner by the days. My life is starting for real now. I'm not getting any younger.

And a women who is aware that she is not getting any younger can't be worried about a boy that isn't getting any older.

Leave him alone. Just leave him the fuck alone yo.

.....My lifes morals...My lifes mentality....My womens gift....My money, my gas.....My precious time.

All that....

I already gave you too much.

And I ain't never gonna get that shit back.

Ever.

.....I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

And one day......One day...