-A While Away

Hey blog peeps. It's been a minute. Actually.....a very long minute since I've written anything out on here. Times have been very different....and I don't know if I'll even be on here that much till after next week, but something just made me want to try to get in somewhere tonight with it.

Right now I'm actually in another room doing an assignment with a friend. I also have an essay that I need to do. But that's easy.

I wouldn't say that I've been "stressed", but I haven't been my normal self. Anyhoo...I miss having the time to sit on here and write out my thoughts, and talk to the world about "worldly" things and such.

It's like when you are young, and people ask you what you wanna be when you grow up, you answer them, but you really don't think about it like that you know. Then when you get to be like a senior in high school to a freshman in college, you start to really just think like damn.....what the fuck do I wanna do?

I particularly don't feel like I have that specific issue.....If anything, I feel more that I have the talent to do so many things that at times I'm undecided, because I feel as though I can do so much more than what I'm limiting myself to. And that's another thing you gotta remember...

No one is ever gonna take a talent away from you, unless you're taking it away from yourself.

Explore what you can do....Ignore the school aspect of it, and recognize that your life is way more than just a couple years out of school. Really. There's so many people that don't explore their talents all because of a couple more years of school.....that's sad. Money problems are different......but laziness is on a side of it's own.

I also have been really finding myself.

I feel like I have more attitude problems now these days....? I don't really know. But it's safe to say that I haven't been the most happy. But no one's ever merry all the time. I get mad at a lot....very quickly. And I know this. I'm patient to an extent.....but I'm not always in the best mood. I guess that's really what I need to work on for myself...

But why....? I spent so much time in high school, and sometimes even now, helping other people out....

........I have to help myself now.

Anyways....for yungins that read me, know that when you graduate, shit is way different. I only talk to one person I went to high school with, and that's my best friend. It varies from person to person. Others may have more people to talk to, and some may not have none at all....but I can assure you, all your high school BFF's won't be, come graduation. So start thinking about yourself and your life more to benefit you instead of to benefit others, that are probably thinking about themselves. Also: your transition into college is not a piece of cake. There's a ton of kids that are fighting for your spot to do just about EVERYTHING. Get your housing on point, get your financial aid/ FASFA done on deck- FAST, get your stuff packaged to what you need before what you want, and bring enough money to start you off, because you will need that shit. And if you find that you're at a school because you felt as though it was your last option or that you really aren't with it.....don't let that discourage you. Being upset is never an excuse to fail. Because trust that if you're trying to transfer eventually, you won't be able to go anywhere of you don't do well there first. Make every step you take, a good one. Right from the jump.

To all the grown folk reading me: You guys were so right, and then some. I'm frustrated....because everywhere I turn I feel like there's shit that I gotta do. Mom and dad aren't here to blame my problems on anymore.....everything is really just my business. I have no money. Food. I wouldn't even have any clothes if it wasn't for my parents.....and I'm aware of that....and I feel like I have so much more respect for that fact now than I ever have before being out here at University. It's some real nigga shit out here....And to think for now it's free.....but in the fall, shit is gonna take a complete turn. But I have to do it. By myself. And it's mad true....when they say listen to what your parents say....it's for a reason. None of my parents have ever stepped foot into a University...but the shit that they told me before coming out here is all blowing up in my face now. So what....? I'm learning. I'm fucking stubborn. I may never admit to my parents how much they mean to me, but I know inside that shit is reinforced internally to me on a daily basis. I need not be like this all the time.

I'm glad that I got to do just a little bit, if not that much, blogging for tonight. At this point, I can only try to get on here more often, but time will tell that.

Blog peeps....regular peeps, lol.

Goodnight.