+Fuck

Sometimes when I sit down alone.....especially in the night time, I think a lot about the things that I feel that I need. The things that I feel like I want.

I think that having some of the most diverse people in your life, really helps to change the way that you see things to be.....It's a beautiful thing to accept change for what it is. Sometimes you need people to open up those doors for you.....because even when you're right in front of them, it's like you still can't really see where the knob is.

I really like to fuck.

No....

I love to fuck.

I remember the first time I ever met my now, ex-boyfriend.

I never knew at that moment in time that I was ever really going to be in a relationship with him. I used to tell him how I felt that we were already together, but I never envisioned everything in between. I remember the first day he came to me....it wasn't the coldest night but the weather was pretty fair. He walked out.....I walked beside him, and I put my arm right in his. It was really guarded.....I could tell that he was really confused. But we walked to my back door. Sneaking in the house at that.

I led him up to my bedroom.....and I remember that we just sat there and.....talked. I was laying down...Hoping that eventually something more would come from his visit. Although, nothing happened and after a while he left.....And I was left alone, and a little unsatisfied.

That was the first time that I had ever been around a male that I wanted to fuck......but couldn't do anything about it.

I learned so much from knowing him from that moment on. I would be lieing to myself if I ever said that meeting him was pointless.

I know myself.....But do I really....really.....know myself....?

I'm not crazy, I know that for sure. And I'm not desperate.....

I just want to touch something that can touch me back, the way that I want to be touched, when I want to be touched, where ever it is that I want to be touched at....

I don't think that's to much to ask for.

Society.....gives females this.....image. Of disdain.....Like the female has to abide by all these natural life rules and regulations. Why do I have to be called a whore, a slut, a bimbo, a dumb bitch......Just because I went for what I wanted and I got it....?

I wanted it. So....can I have it?

Isn't that what males do...

"Please, please, please......I want you......I've wanted you for a minute now.....Just let me have it......Just a kiss.....Just a lick.....Where's your room.....Take me there so I can take you away.....Fuck me."

Yes.

So why can't that be me......Why can't that be any other female.

I know what I want.....I want a male who I can mold into anything that I want, when I want it. I wanna be able to fuck you a thousand times a night, and have the luxury of pleasing you and talking to you. I want you to wake up the next morning and fuck me again, and again, and again. And then I want you to get out of my face. Then come back.......and I'll fuck you till I'm satisfied. Then get out of my face. And when you're out of my face, you always keep your lips sealed. Nobody knows anything.....and nobody has to know. I want a guy who I can fuck when I feel like.....Like as soon as I want to and I turn the corner he's standing right there, saying come baby.......come over here so I can be your bitch for as long as you want me to.......then I'll disappear to reappear again......Just for you.

Just for me.

And you know.....There's nothing that makes me feel that in my honest and real life, I couldn't find a guy that would be willing to do that. Hell.....they're all over my campus.

But......In my honest and real life....even though that's want I want, that is not what I want.

I don't always want to be in love to fuck. That's not the point. But....I wanna care about you.....I want you to really care about me. I used to be fine with the one night stands.....the sneaking......the fucking.....the lust. But.....that's all it is.

Is lust...

So now it's like, I'm not really looking for love, but I don't just want lust. Then.....what is it.

Maybe it's territorial.

When I say I want a male that's just for me.....I mean it in its entirety. Just For Me.

It's like when you purchase a dildo and when you're finished with it, you stick it under your pillow for the next time so you don't lose it. So it's always there for when you wanna get a couple nuts off. What if a guy was like that....You had a guy that you could fuck and then tuck away for the next time, and no one could ever touch him but you. No one could ever fuck him but you......No one could ever use him but....you.

Yeah......I would love that too.

Mine.

Mine.

Mine.

But nobody is just mine....Nobody. Even if they are. If they wanna fuck someone else, they can.....They will.

They're not brainless.

But I'm not either.

As I write this, I want very much so to fuck. Who knows, maybe that was my deep inspiration to this blog. But......I know better these days.

I'm always gonna want that Ken doll in my big playhouse that I can move around every time I feel like it....

I just have to be a smart Barbie about it and share that part of me with the right Ken instead of all the other duplicates.

There are always so many of them, and there always will be. You have to work to find the one worth fucking that deserves it......But that's the way that it's supposed to be.

Maybe that's why we just fuck when we want to......because looking for the right one take to long.

If I'm a Barbie and you're a Ken, then we're technically allowed to fuck if that's what makes us happy, right.....?

Because that's all I can see......I want dick....And I don't see a certain type of male, or color or age or whatever....I just see a Ken. A doll that looks like every other one of it's kind.....There and ready for me to be Barbie in our pretend playhouse.

Like people, Like dolls, Like animals......

Fuck to create.....to fuck.

Isn't that why they created us in the first place....