A One Man Ladder: No Friends Allowed

Peoples, peeps, niggas, bitches, losers, winners, scientists, attorneys, garbage collectors, Burger King employees, Sales associates, twerks, jerks, jigs, macs, writers, readers, dreamers, entrepreneurs, hipsters, hoes, rappers, editors, factory workers, whatever you do, wherever you are:

WHAZZ-ZUPP?!

I am currently transitioning over....graduating high school. It's funny because it's like, I'll go to school wearing something and I'll wonder for a second like, "Is this against the dress code?". Then I realize.....I don't go there anymore.

It's all just rehearsals and then the big bang: Graduation. And that is it folks.

So life is hitting me....Or, it's been hitting me for a while now. But it's hitting me harder now.

I remember being younger, like maybe even before going to high school, and going to family events, and seeing my older cousins there....all grown, and graduating high school and stuff. I always thought you know, they look so happy....but upset at the same time. They also had a lot of family issues, and they'd get into little groups at the parties with other teenagers their age and talk about it. I never understood how someone that didn't have to go to school anymore could be so frustrated....because when you're young, you only pay attention to the minor details of the story. I must have been about 10 years old then....

Now I'm 17.....And that won't even last for that much longer, because once July hits half way through the month: I'll be legal for sure.

I can't say I've had the worst life.....There are people that probably read this blog from all over and can challenge me to that shit. But I Haven't had the best either. The older I get, the ladder to independence goes up another step......and I mean hey, I would love to think I'm sure climbin' it just as fast as it's growing. But it's hard.....especially with a family like my own. Anyone else feel me with this?

Because if you do, well guess what: This is why I do this. The things I talk about, are to coincide with my readers. Of course you have the blog posts that just talk about shit......then you got the blog posts that talk about real ass shit.....and then you got the blog posts that have a meaning for forever. Taps on the shit going on in someones life, right at that moment.....like right now.

It's like that.....because just like seasons.....I laugh....I get mad....I get curious....I get upset....and I cry....like each and every individual reading my blog.

So I have to take a recess every once in a while. Not just for me, but for a lot of people. Even if I don't know them.

But yes......In some way, age can prove to really be a bitch. Or maybe the bigger bitch is just the family that won't let your age be yours.

There's been times when I've said I would just give up.....and let my parents do with me what they must. There was a period of time in my life, where I stopped trying to own my age....because something kept telling me that I wouldn't win. So you do nothing....even though you know damn well that if you don't, you'll never get anywhere because you'll always be looked at like a child.

A........little........kid.

And after a while, I figured that it doesn't matter how tired I am of trying to own my age: I have to do it. By all means, at all times. Because as much as we don't like to repeat ourselves: reinforcement is what gets things into peoples heads. So if you settle and never say shit....it doesn't matter if you grow up to be a 27 year old man....Your parents will continue to belittle you, until you tell em' straight up: I'm grown as fuck. And by pulling on me when I'm trying to venture my life out for myself, is doing me nothing but a disservice.

And you repeat that shit. Repeat that shit until you see a change. Until YOU are happy.

That's another thing too....

I quit doing what my friends told me they thought was the best thing to do because it only would make me happy for the moment. I started thinking ahead....and thinking of what would make ME happy in the future. They're MY parents....No one else is going to be able to completely lift the burden off my back if I do something that scars me for life...cause when it comes down to it, friends have the power to make scars yo.....and not all of them have the power to heal them or take them away when all the shit falls down. That's just the way the cookies crumble.

So unless you are my better half, or soul mate....someone I put on higher stakes then ANYONE else in my life....I mean, you can still give me advice. But it won't be as significant. Because people that love you tell you shit to do that will accommodate with the whole issue, and everyone involved.....and people that care about you a lot....they might tell you good shit too, but it's all shit that they know they want you to hear.....and most of the time because they're not living it, they don't really think about it.

What do you say after you tell one of your friends something serious, and they give you advice..? Most of the time: "I know right!" So....why do I need to ask someone for advice....that's just going to tell me, what I already know....as opposed to actually solving the issue...so I can be free...instead of being lectured for 15 minutes......Just to come to the beginning conclusion all over again.....?

Do friends have the power to do that..............?