Another Lonely Night...

Well, telling by the tittle, there can only be one thing that this entry is about.

A lonely night. Once again.

Time for the random sentimental thoughts to take place now.

So what is Sam Spits The Truth thinking about at this second...?

Well, sex of course. As if that ever escapes my mind... Then there's my room, that's a mess. I keep telling my mom that I'll get around to it.... I keep lying to myself. It's just that when things get so messy and out of control you get a little scared of tackling it I guess.... That's how I always feel when my room gets to be a little out of control.... I just let it increase to the point of no return. Then there's also school and social life that I think about a little more often now these days too.

I usually have a couple people that I can talk to when it gets to be this late....

But I guess tonight I have some space to collect some of my thoughts.

It has come to my attention today, that someone I met my freshmen year of college will not be, or might not be, attending my school again next semester.

I was looking through his twitter.... Just browsing when I came across a conversation that he had with a friend and apparently, he isn't coming back.

Damn....

I took the whole summer to get over everything that had happened..... to the point where I really can say without a doubt that I'm completely good. I'm over it, happy, laughing at the situation and everything....

When you're that accomplished, even when you don't care about the other party anymore... You still want them to see you happy and better. Cause it just feels so damn good to know that they know that they can't have you.....

But.... he's gone I guess.

It's like when you're really mean to someone and you really like torturing them for fun.... but despite it, you would never want them to actually die or anything. Because you still want them to be around.... You'd rather have them there to laugh at then to see them go six feet under....

That's kinda how I feel.

I'd rather have him here to ignore and make fun of....then for him to be gone and just completely out of my life.....forever....

But.... It is what it is.

Whether he comes back or he doesn't.... I'mma do me cause that's all I can be.

Him leaving might just be what's best for me anyways.

Although I really did want to face the new semester head on, with him there.

Oh well.

Saya-nara bitch.

On another note:

I'm very lonely tonight...... Too lonely to be satisfied.

Maybe I should force myself to sleep....? Which I hate doing with a passion, but it's the only thing that will kill this need inside me right now for some sort of friendly attention....

Rest...